Issue:  Vol. 48 / No. 8 / 22 February 2018

Devil's feud cock

Karrnal Knowledge

'Earthbound: Heaven to Hell 2' revives costume porn epic

As the Devil in Earthbound, Dean Monroe finds it so nice to be surrounded by sex slaves.  
Print this Page
Send to a Friend
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on MySpace!

Dread. That's what I felt at the prospect of director Chi Chi LaRue's much ballyhooed return to Falcon Studios, Earthbound: Heaven to Hell 2. The movie's press release contained the kind of sentence that makes me file my teeth before hitting the keyboard:

"It's not just porn," Chi Chi proclaimed. "It's an event!"

Earthbound is a continuation of LaRue's successful 2005 hit, Heaven to Hell . Its really good sex made it one of the few movies of its day that I've kept. But it also had some hoo-hah plotting, and saddled its performers with bulky angel and devil wings, as well as ill-advised horns glued precariously onto foreheads. More comic than scary, they made me wince every time the guys dove in to suck cock.

My dread intensified as I noted the new movie's prolonged three-hour length, and especially the setting of its opening scene. Here are all the risible trappings of directors going spooky. The bells of midnight toll, dozens of pillar candles sputter in a paint-besmirched dungeon of crumbling concrete walls, and a hood lamp swings ominously overhead, like a film noir with the Devil standing in for a detective in a trench coat. A hood lamp in hell? And what's with the running water we hear in the background, in the traditionally flame-filled, parched land of deviltry? Wouldn't the Devil live in silk-draped, chandeliered luxury? Oh, well.

I suffered more oy vay as the action commenced. In ominous shadow on a bizarrely ornate throne, the Devil drips benedictory blood-drops from silver Fu Manchu finger extensions onto the tongues of his hooded acolytes. When the Devil speaks, a vocoder distorts his voice to a rumbling bass. A sex slave, played by Skyy (is that pronounced Sky-yiy?) Knox, has spurned him, for which he is banished to earth.

Terra firma, we find drug runner Andrew Stark intimidating trembling Trelino to snitch on, well, we don't know who. But the Boss doesn't really want information. He wants ass. And he takes it, in urgent domination. It's lovely to, ahem, cum across beefy, bearded Stark's luminously complected body, stark black hair, and enviable cock.

Despite being forced to submit, young Trelino, with his lickable cappuccino complexion, is on the lucky end of the stick, especially when lasciviously scarfing Stark's stud sauce. May I invoke the Deity in a movie about the Devil? God, but I'm glad gay men aren't afraid of semen anymore.

Meanwhile, back in the Devil's lair, and like the Wicked Witch of the West spying Dorothy in her giant crystal ball, Devil Dean Monroe divines from an ancient tome that Knox has gone "off-bound," whatever that means, and must at all costs be prevented from finding love.

An aggressive romp for Andre Donovan and Johnny V is a divertissement, in Earthbound.

Is the Devil jealous? If that's the problem, Knox should have been kept Down Below, in the loveless lands of the lower world. Indeed, henchmen are dispatched to haul him back to Hades.

The Devil's temper can only be calmed by the ministrations of his minions, who swarm into his every bodily opening. They're a powerful bunch of guys –thickly muscled pulverizer Arad Winwin, who's a real wow-wow, studly Sean Zevran, delectable bum boy Gabriel Alonzo, and of course, the redoubtable Mr Monroe.

You'd think the Devil would be a top, wouldn't you. But Monroe's a famed bottom, whose whimperingly begged, "Fuck Me," gets his minions all riled up. Boy, they know how to follow orders. As a scene capper, watch Winwin's cum dripping off Monroe's tongue. A real win-win.

Back to earth we go, where Knox receives from a passing angel the cryptic and questionable message, "Love = Freedom."

But there's no time for debate, what with the Devil's henchmen coming after him, so Knox takes refuge in a goth nightclub. It's a delightfully picaresque place, full of sexually charged night crawlers, played by many recognizable denizens of SF's demi-monde. Does Knox observe Love there? He does if Love = Brent Corrigan pole-dancing in a leather jock. When Knox faints, good Samaritan Brent takes him home.

Can Trelino be forced to snitch by Andrew Stark’s sexual pleasuring? The answer’s in Earthbound.

Stark thinks the goth club owner is ripping him off, and assuages himself by ripping off Armond Rizzo's ass. The guys start out in deep make-out mode, proceed with passion and skill to the ruination of Rizzo's rear end, and culminate in Rizzo savoring Stark's semen.

After three scenes, we're only halfway through the movie. In self-defense, I called an intermission. I girded my by-then much abused loins to continue, only to find my mauling instantly recommencing when a couple of All Stars have brutal sex in a foreboding back alley. J. J. Knight slams into Blake Riley, who exhibits an especial nastiness when devoutly licking cum off Knight's spunk-crusted cock.

A divertissement follows, when the irresistible enticements of Johnny V divert dark-skinned Andre Donovan from his commanded pursuit of Knox. It's a fucking frenzy in the goth club's back room, most exciting for the Reverse Cowboy that dotes on Johnny's gleaming body.

Self-mauling is mandated as JJ Knight tops Blake Riley, in Earthbound.

And then, the touching finale. Brent tenderly bathes Skyy, who repays this kindness by working several dextrous fingers up Brent's ass while firmly grasping the bauble's achingly stiff cock. I dote on the taut muscularity of Skyy's lean body, and Brent's face, form and phallus are fabulous as ever. His cock just bewitches me. The spell was heightened during their ensuing flip fuck, a lovely event that particularly dazzles when they each in turn drop their blessed cum on the other's tongue.

Upshot? Dread dispelled.

Chi Chi was right. This handsomely designed and assuredly crafted movie is an event, in that each scene is a resounding success. Though Earthbound indulges Chi Chi's career-long penchant for elaborate scenarios, this one lacks his ringmaster approach to directing sex scenes. The result is closer relationships, and emotional connections in even the crudest encounters.

Chi Chi's final statement in the press release was, "I'm so happy with the outcome!" Well, so am I. Especially when the movie exits with the hint of a sequel.

All photos:

Follow The Bay Area Reporter
Newsletter logo
twitter logo
facebook logo