The wine of marriage is running out. Half of all marriages end in divorce, while the young in increasing numbers marry late, or opt out of marriage altogether. This is neither surprising nor necessarily a cause for alarm. It is not at all clear whether marriage is the foundational unit of a well-functioning society – as our opponents claim – or just one incidental form of life among others. The neo-conservative champions of traditional marriage claim that it is the sine qua non of the American way of life, an argument not entirely contradicted by the recent pro-marriage/anti-Prop 8 courtroom testimony of Harvard historian Nancy Cott.

Enter Jesus. At the behest of his mother, he changes water to wine and saves the day for everyone. The part of Jesus, it would seem, falls to U.S. District Court Judge Vaughn Walker, whose judicial priesthood authorizes a sacred transformation of our "profane" unions, which will henceforth be changed from water to the best wine, served ironically at that stage of the party when most guests are too drunk to distinguish a vintage Barolo from rock gut.

Miracles aside, we are the good stuff already. Same-sex pairs have, in every society, formed loving relationships. These unions by any name and in any vessel are the excellent wine whose "miraculous" fermentation is not in question, only the discernment and reputation of the sommelier. We do not need a judicial savior. Our lives and relationships are what they are because of us, and not the external magic of judicial interventions, as important as they are.

Meanwhile our Catholic bishops – who should be blessing our stuff – stand by empty vessels and curse. In their recent pastoral, "Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan," they argue that the inclusive redefinition of civil marriage "harms the intrinsic dignity of every human person and the common good of society." Indeed, the equal recognition of same-sex unions "poses a multi-faceted threat to the very fabric of society." But people of intelligence and good will know better. Spain and Portugal are doing just fine, thank you, and the sky has yet to fall in Canada.

The pastoral deliberately confuses religious and civil marriage. But there is considerable slippage between the official Catholic definition and contemporary civil definitions. The Roman Catholic Church does not permit divorce, for example, and imposes restrictions on inter-religious marriage.

The letter also argues that marriage equality somehow infringes on the religious liberty of Catholics. Surely informed persons know that marriage equality is a civil issue, and not a religious issue. Equality will never require Catholic hierarchs, priests, or traditionalists to perform, recognize, or give an iota of respect to same-sex lives and relationships, any more than the gains of the civil rights movement forced bigots in the South to relinquish their views. Thankfully that task belongs not to us, but to love over time.

An alternative and more authentic Catholic perspective supports marriage equality because it enhances the dignity of vulnerable persons, strengthens families, contributes to the common good, and promises the potential renewal of a declining, but salvageable institution (marriage).

Catholics for Marriage Equality was founded in June 2009 to advance marriage equality through prayer, presence, and education. This Saturday, February 6, we will host Pray for the Court at St. Mary's Cathedral in San Francisco at 1 p.m. After praying and reflecting on the Luminous Mysteries of the Most Holy Rosary, we will proceed with an image of Our Lady to the courthouse for an ecumenical Eucharist. Everyone is welcome. We believe that the expression of multiple religious perspectives contributes to the vitality of our common life and our shared quest for social justice. No religion worthy of the name holds prejudice at its most authentic core. Our Catholic perspective is – on this issue – more authentic than that of the pope.

Yes, marriage equality is coming. It's in the air. Even if the people of the bluest states are not quite ready to give us thumbs up, hearts and minds are changing, voters are reconsidering, legislators and jurists are hitting the books, and the tide is turning. The LGBT movement will continue to make inroads until we have achieved full equality before the law. It is as inevitable (if elusive) as the reign of God. So let us live and love as it is in us to do, knowing that justice is "always, but coming" (Walter Rauschenbusch). When we do that we are in the Divine Plan, whatever the legal or ecclesiastical status of our relationships. Do what he (Jesus) tells you.

Eugene McMullan is a doctoral candidate at the Graduate Theological Union and the founder of Catholics for Marriage Equality.