Karrnal Knowledge - The Bjorn Identity
by John Karr
Kristen Bjorn hasn t been as prolific a sexographer these days as he was in the 1990s. He made some 26 or more movies then, followed up by half that, 13, in the Aughts. He produced two of his typically long new movies in 2012, but during the past two years he s been finding his earlier work ripe for the plucking, and has collected anthologies of chain fucks, bareback fucks, orgies, and, in his most recent release, Casting Couch Vol. 12, auditions.
The Casting Couch scenes generally pair a vet with a newbie. Some of the vets are famous; some of the newbies are going to be (and, in some cases, already were when auditioning, being only new to Bjorn s employ). There are some real beauties among the cast, and the sex they have together is mostly rewarding.
Mostly, he says? I ll get back to that. But first... I like the warm feel of the seven scenes that were filmed in Madrid. Ah, sunny Spain (Did you ever hear anyone say that about Prague? You feel an immediate, grey chill upon arriving for the one scene filmed in the Czech capital). I think the videography and editing are exceptional; and enjoyed the always atmospheric music, both the minimal yet easily propulsive pop/rock and the soft jazz that s sometimes romantically laid back (and sometimes a bit Muzak-y).
A fair share of the scenes really hit their stride, either starting off with ardent smooching and boner arousal, or insinuating their way into accomplished fucking. And you know about the Bones of Bjorn. Always the biggest, the hardest, the uncuttest. Bjorn likes em curving upward a little, and he likes them highly manscaped.
I liked most of all a tender morsel named Adam, in his sole Bjorn movie. He seems American, a cute freshman edging into handsome manhood, with a Pike s Peak of a pecker. He s pink cheeked and fair, which contrasts so nice with caramel skinned Apolo (what, are they rationing consonants in Madrid?) Knowles. Adam saddles up on Apolo s cock, and immensely enjoys the ride he gets.
I also got hot for Aymeric DeVille, statuesque, startlingly blue-eyed, so heavy hung and low-hangingly balled. But it s his partner, Jalil Jafar, who gave me a hard as he took away my heart. With his dark good looks, beard, very hairy chest and the movie s only circumcision, I thought he was a Jew. His bio says he s from Azerbaijan. What, there aren t any Jewish Azerbaijani? How his cock throbs, and how he fucks the cum outta DeVille. And how he shoots a phenomenal nine –count them, nine– ball-busting blasts of cum straight into the bull s eye of his bottom s mouth, which you ll relish when they re repeated in slo-mo.
Another good scene features muscled, scruff-faced, very white-skinned Eneko, doing some cock-sitting on the steely stick of Junior Rodriquez. They start off lapping at each other s mouths like horses at a trough – a slobbering kissing style fairly unique to a Bjorn movie. Must be a special instruction (you ll also find sprinkled throughout that butterfly tonguing sort of kiss that s a European, not necessarily a Bjorn-ean, speciality).
There are many other points of interest during the two-hour show. But here s the problem. With one or two exceptions among the ten scenes, they re each only 12 minutes, which means that anything you re enjoying is not going to go on for long. It s like watching a highlights reel. There s little chance for continuity, pacing, build-up. Though that perhaps matches the sanitized nature of Bjorn s studied approach. Everything s so pristine it s hard for the Big Nasty to bust out. Although, it does, however momentarily. Yet even when the boys do get heated up, everyone stays impeccably neat. The fucking I called accomplished is most often entirely well-mannered, like, Oh, please don t let me disturb you while I m drilling.
Bjorn s a meticulous, and demanding, sexographer. I ve read he can take four days to film a single scene. That may explain the chronic lack of spontaneity in many of them – that, and the fact that he prefers to direct str8 men, because, well, he says they re easier to work with. They re certainly easy on the eyes, and seem eager to sport-fuck. It can also seem they re just doing what they re told, only pretending to be into it.