The beautiful, angelic face that stares back from the book jacket of The Meaning of Matthew: My Son's Murder in Laramie, and a World Transformed, by Judy Shepard (Hudson Street Press), only serves to underscore his tragedy. A little more than a decade after his brutal death, Matthew Shepard stands as the face of anti-gay violence. His Mom, Judy, is one of our most powerful and beloved allies. It's not a position the Wyoming housewife and mother ever expected to be in, but sometimes life intervenes when you're busy making other plans.

After 10 years of what appeared to be nonstop speaking engagements, Judy Shepard now offers a deeply moving memoir. The Meaning of Matthew tells the whole story of Matt Shepard, including what happened to him in the 21 years that preceded the horrible night he was left to die in a Wyoming field.

In a no-holds-barred manner that could only come from a loving Mom, she writes of her first realization that her son might be gay, when he dressed up like Dolly Parton for Halloween. Shepard now admits that her earlier views of LGBT people were based on stereotypes. She has since gone to great pains to educate both herself and others as to the truth.

What follows is gut-wrenching: she shares intimate details of Matthew's battles with clinical depression, and of the horrible rape he endured three years prior to his murder. Like many young LGBT people, Matt was a loving but troubled soul.

"I wanted people to meet Matt," Shepard said in a recent interview. "It was hard to go back to those memories, but we knew we had to do it."

Her descriptions of Matthew's death and his killers' subsequent trial are graphic and strong. But she hopes that by not sugar-coating the truth, she can educate others as to how future tragedies can be avoided.

Shepard said she was surprised by the attention Matt's death attracted. When the press first started calling, she wasn't sure how to respond. "Who did they think we were, Elton John?" she recalled wryly. But she has since embraced the media, and uses its tools in her quest to end not only homophobia, but all forms of hatred. "We need to be a united front," she said firmly. "We can't be different people fighting for different things."

She's equally firm as to where religion belongs in society. "The Church has no place to say that someone 'shouldn't be.' Whatever your Higher Power happens to be, love for your fellow man is the most important thing."

She wrote the book, she said, because she wanted the truth to be told. The TV movies about Matt were filled with inaccuracies, although she was flattered by Stockard Channing's Emmy-winning portrayal of her in NBC's The Matthew Shepard Story. She also hopes the book will reach people in places where she's not invited to speak.

"We have become a SIC society," said Shepard. "Silent, indifferent and complacent. For all who ask what they can do for Matt and for all other victims of hate, my answer is to educate and bring understanding where you see hate and ignorance. Bring light where you see darkness, bring freedom where there is fear."

Judy Shepard in person, reading and talk, Sat., Oct. 24, 3 p.m., at A Different Light Bookstore, 489 Castro St., SF. Info: (415) 431-0891.